[As womxn,] “we code switch a lot. We have a certain way we dress and the way we move our body, the way we use our voice, what language we’re speaking literally. And if we’re speaking english are we speaking it differently in our mosque or our desi functions and maybe we go to school and its totally different.

Meet Seemi Ghazi

I'm 54 years old, I was born in London, England. My Dad was studying Political Science doing his Masters at the London School of Economics. When I was 3 1/2, we moved to Cambridge Mass. When he was doing his PhD, we lived in an amazing place called the Centre of Study of World Religions which was at Harvard and was founded by my Dad’s mentor William Campbell Smith, who was a great scholar of religion.

On challenges

“I’ve had 3 or 4 miscarriages before and after my daughter and son were born. Some of them were early, some of them were late. So that was definitely a big challenge. I really love children, I grew up being the eldest of five, also with so many cousins around. I’ve already helped raise so many kids, so it was very difficult for me to think about not having children. It seemed like I couldn’t give birth to a sibling for my daughter.” 

On healing

“I think a thing I learned between each of those experiences is that I was able to own the process and was able to be there and give birth to that child and hold it. Sometimes it was so small, like a seahorse. And the last one before I had my son was a perfectly formed little baby boy. They’re so tiny. It’s incredible. Because first they’re perfectly formed and then they grow. But, I feel so whole and healed about it and I think it’s because I really took my time and I honoured this process. I held them in my hands and I prayed over them and I wrapped them in white cloth which is what we do as Muslims. There’s a place where I buried them all out in nature, a place that is special to me that I can go visit. And I really feel their presence and I feel their protection and guardianship. Sometimes I dream about them and see them as teenagers or as they’re older and they have different personalities. For many women, I know that they can’t even talk about it. There’s no space for grief. I feel incredibly blessed that I have this ongoing relationship.” 

“Each of those times was a time when people would say, “you’re being so strong.” I didn’t feel like I was being strong, I just felt carried in those moments and I felt that the veil between this world and all the other worlds that are unseen became so thin and so fine. I’ve never felt the presence of the beyond so palpably.” 

“It really increased my faith, not in a cerebral experiential way but really experiencing the world that they had gone to and the world that I was in and us being very connected. That was an immense gift that they gave me. I felt that they were there –  that I was on this side and then they were on that side.” 

On triumph from resilience

“In 2006 they told me that I would never get pregnant again and if I did, I would never carry a baby to term so they told me to stop trying. And then in 2010 when I’m not trying nothing, I have this beautiful miracle boy at 45. That was a very unexpected happy moment.” 

What does Himmat mean to you? 

In Arabic, Himmat grammatically is a feminine word. My image of Himmat is definitely my mother. She always has high aspirations for herself and everyone around her and she knows how to make everything, whether it be a plant or a pet or a child or a student, she knows how to make people thrive and to give them what they need to thrive. She has foresight and courage and diligence and dedication to bring that about. For me, Himmat is those things, it’s to have a high vision and high aspirations and to have strength, courage and wisdom and dedication to bring that aspiration into a reality.