MEET ANITA LAL

I feel my life has been very segmented. The first 10 years of my life was a normal, stable childhood with my parents, me, my older brother, my two younger sisters and my Biji. We lived in Quesnel BC, where my dad was a millworker and my mom was a homemaker and head of the PTA. It was a pretty solid childhood, we lived on a small hobby farm. We swam in little creeks in the summertime and built igloos in the winter. And then my parents passed away. The next 20 years were full of a lot of disruption, instability and responsibility. I took on the role of the guardian and caretaker. I look back now and don’t know if this was always a part of my personality or if it developed due to the circumstances of my life. These responsibilities have kept me grounded and focused. We bounced back and forth between family and foster care for a few years. That was a struggle because we were also split apart for a little while. I moved to Abbotsford in grade 9, and it was a culture shock. But that experience definitely has contributed to the work I do in community now. In my mid-20s, we lost my brother and Biji, leaving just us 3 sisters. Resilient. That’s how a friend described me once.  It’s not a trait I wish people to have to develop, but I am grateful that we are. In my 30s, I spent time learning who I am, what my value is, what my strengths are.  In my 40s, I’m facing my weaknesses and my hurts and learning to forgive and be gentle–and at the same time celebrate myself.

We all have reasons to be negative and it’s easy. When someone’s positive, it adds so much to a person’s character. I choose to see life through a positive lens. There are a lot of bad things that have happened and will happen, but a lot of good things have also happened and will happen. You face the bad and the ugly, work through it and you move forward. I’ve learned through all of this that patience, resilience, and just staying focused on the positive are vital. You can put your time and energy into the negative but it’s such a waste. So many things can throw you off but I’m learning that I don’t have to respond. I don’t have to care about everything that happens. I don’t have to fix or own things that are not mine. I’m still working on that. I feel positive about where my life is going. It’s all about opportunities and not letting my fears hold me back.  I’m changing some deep belief systems that I have and surrounding myself with the right vibes. It’s all about the vibes.