MEET JAG NAGRA

I grew up in Maple Ridge and went to a predominantly Caucasian high school. It wasn't until I was older that I noticed that I was one of very few Indians in the school.  I was very shy, very awkward and very unsure of myself. I didn’t know that I was gay at that point. I just always knew I didn't quite like boys the way other girls did. Once I started figuring it out, I was in denial and I was really scared. I had such a good relationship with my family and worried that I would be disowned. I didn't think anyone would ever understand.  How can an Indian person be gay?  I lived my life thinking I was the only brown queer person in the world.

I think a lot of education needs to happen, especially with the older generation. My Mom thought she had done something wrong during her pregnancy to make me gay, so it took a lot of explaining about what it all means. My parents have a lot of strength for coming out for me to their extended family. This is their life, too. When you come out of the closet, you’re not coming out once in your life, you’re coming out for the rest of your life…to your co-workers, to new people that you meet. It’s not really a burden but I’ve mostly left it to my parents to deal with their extended families.

A relative recently asked my Mom how my daughter Jaya was doing, and because my parents don’t have anything negative to say about us, what else can anyone really say? My parents are fully accepting. They’re so proud to be grandparents. But if they had been angry or had been asking people to find a doctor to “fix” me, of course everyone else would have had a negative connotation about this. They’re setting the example.